Loss Of Home

From my journal:

Homes can be destroyed by emotional conflict, insecurity, loss in any form, and nature itself. 

"one might be lost or helpless, or racked with ontological [the nature of being] anxiety; but one could try, at least, not to be obtuse." [annoyingly insensitive/blunt]

Home 001 [draft] 

As easy as we call a place our home,
The elements can wreak havoc 
remind us we have nothing at all
to find a place within ourselves
To move freely and not stake a particular claim.
To belong only to ourselves and nothing belong to us.
To not simply take her
To do so, invites her to revoke our self awarded kingdom.
mercilessly. 

Yesterday 
I was feeling rather hopeless.  This past saturday on September 15th 2012, I had to part with 90% of my possessions. I was able to keep my clothing, and linens, but I did not even want those.  They felt useless.  Everything I achieved and everything I retained ripped from my hands, my material trophies... I've learned they are all nothing. Today, Alexa shared this quote from her blog: 

"Certainly a man of understanding has lost nothing, if he has himself. What can be salvaged from the shipwreck of existence proves to be not a possession withdrawn, in whatever way, into interiority but rather the self-possession achievable through the process of self-discovery and self-appropriation."  

-What The Shipwrecked Person Is Left With, pg. 14

I'm not the first to come to this sobering conclusion, clearly. We ignore loss in our society, we replace and replace and replace. I'll never forget when we saw the infestations as we opened the dvd cases, running everywhere.  The whirlwind of the calamity and hilarity, my grandfather wanting to see them, the unavoidable tears and pain, and in the end my father and my grandfather pulling out their wallets shoving their cash into my hands. I hardly cared. I hardly wanted what I had left. I didn't even want their hugs. I wanted to wash myself away in my tears.

As I was reading my book Available Light by Clifford Geertz yesterday (Sunday) I came upon the quote at the top of the page. With that I realized that I am not the only one to lose it all. People lose things often more than once!...

Home is remembered.
When one talks about home, their dialogue is filled with memory. Memory is weightless and can be taken no matter where you go and no one can take it from you.

 "The atmosphere of this room is in solidly linked with my idea of a kitchen."
 "Memories like these contain the deepest architectural memories."

- [insert architecht's name and book title here] 

The memory of the home you had, or the places you felt home become the ideas that you take to create your own version of home, physical or not. Some ideas are universal;

- Safety
- Security
- Control/Lack Thereof
- Respect

and so forth but, others are based on individual or similar materialistic memories...